I was my own ghost!


I was my own ghost, but I wasn’t aware of it! I was haunting my life, instead of living it!  Gliding in life, too scared to be scary, a mere spectator of my fleeting life. Stuck in limbo, nowhere to go, no-one to talk to. I needed to take action but I could not walk anymore. Every time I tried to scream, no sound would come out, and when it did, no one would hear it.

Then, one day, I came upon a mirror, but I didn’t recognize the person I saw on the other side. She looked like me, but she surely wasn’t me. I tried to smile at her, but my smile turned into a grimace. Tears fell down her cheeks. I was struck by the dark circles under her eyes, the hollow cheeks and the thin limbs. Still she looked like me, but she wasn’t me. I wondered what happened to her. What went wrong? How did she get there?

I could tell she wanted to get out of there. It was as if I could read her mind. She wanted to go back to being me, not this ghostly person that she had become. What have changed?  “You have changed”, she said bluntly. She could also read my mind. “Your priorities have changed! You have lost sight of what mattered in life. You have grown, you have become one of them, an adult, a full member of society and you have been paying the price”.

“Joy”! I thought! A word I haven’t muttered in a long time. Where did it go? And Hope? Did I loose them on my way to adulthood? How do I get them back? I wanted them back. I needed them back! I remembered being full of life and hope, and fun. Those used to be my every day companions. But gradually they had disappeared; unless I was the one who got rid of them. But I was ready to welcome them back into my life.

I could feel life crawling back into my veins, my heart being filled with all kind of emotions I had not felt in a long time, my head pounding with million of thoughts. I was alive again. Tears were floating down my cheeks, but this time they were accompanied with laughs. I noticed that the other person was crying and laughing too, just like me. Maybe because she was me!





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